Am hankering for some good old fashioned chocolate chip cookies. Homemade of course. Will bake soon.
1. I am somebody who likes to spend her time wisely. When there is something to be done, I will do it and give one hundred percent to the task. I am somebody who fully commits to what she does.
2. I am somebody who likes to keep fit and to keep to a moderate exercise routine. I am somebody who takes only what I need, but will allow for excess once in awhile.
3. I am somebody who does not say or imply bad things about other people. I am somebody who gives people the benefit of the doubt, I am somebody who understands that for some people it just takes time but essentially everybody is doing their best.
4. I am somebody who is not afraid to love and to be loved in return.
The family that we (T, K, I and F) performed for that night all released wishing lanterns, and they invited us to come and join them. We were on a grassy slope overlooking a stretch of grassy land, with a number of trees in the distance. It was dark and the night sky was studded with stars. I was rather dubious about the entire thing seeing as at least fifty people releasing floating lanterns into farmland = potential forest fire. But it seemed like they had done this before. And they were going to do it again. And they wanted us to join them this time. Okay. I decided to trust that they knew what they were doing.
I lit my lantern and waited for it as it blew up and grew bigger. I was told to make a wish. Err - I fumbled for a wish. What was it that I really wanted?
“I wish to be happy. I wish for the courage to do what it is that I have to do.”
Somebody came by, took one look at my lantern, and said that he thought it looked ready to take off. He helped me get it into position, told me to hold onto it until it was ready, then walked off. The wind kind of caught onto it. For a split second i was afraid to let go of it, in fear that it would not fly or it would suddenly catch fire and burn down. Or for fear that it really wasn’t the right time to let go of it. I was told you’d know when you should let go of the lantern. I didn’t think I knew and I was afraid until I got there and I just knew.
I let go upon that final, insistent tug. My lantern soared up, really, really quickly, and flew off into the distance. F or K made a comment about how my lantern was moving so quickly, and how it rose so high. I stood there watching it for awhile, until it turned into a speck in the night sky.
F’s and mine went up really quickly and floated off, almost side by side. T’s had a close encounter with a tree nearby, but then at the last moment it avoided the tree top and soared off really quickly into the night. K’s and I’s both rose steadily and disappeared into the night sky as well (although I didn’t really get to watch theirs as they lit their lanterns before I did).
I’m so happy I didn’t give up on you. I’m so happy I decided to try one last time to get through to you. Look at you now. It’s a far cry from the girl I met last September, the girl who would barely utter five words in the course of an hour. Now you’re the girl who loves the color blue and dogs of all shapes and sizes and the girl who loves to draw but who doesn’t think she’s any good at it when she most definitely is. The girl who has every right to go for what she wants and to give her best at it. Really, look at you now.
I’m so, so, so happy I didn’t give up on you that day even if I was already so, so, tired. Thank you so much for teaching me a very important lesson, a lesson six or so months in the making.
I love what I do but there are just really days that I just want to put everything on pause and….lie in bed, sleep, eat, and play PvsZ all day